Transition

So I think (hope) I have reached a turning point.

We have had a great week up here in NH, but admittedly it has been a little dramatic. First, the student had the meltdown on me (and then melted on many others and has since apologized to pretty much everyone on campus. Sheesh). Then we went to the grocery and our car was surrounded by local policemen (I promise we aren't fugitives! Everything turned out fine in the end, but it was definitely a panic moment), and then we took a day trip to Portland, ME, and Will's previously tender diaper rash turned into a painful experience for us all. In the midst of it all, our little family was having glorious moments and then more hard moments.

And Clay and I had a "come to Jesus" moment.

We were both relaxed and exhausted, exhilarated and overwhelmed, excited about the future and nervous about the unknown. We knew we needed to CHILL.

Suddenly it was pretty clear to me:

This year is going to be hard over and over again if I don't let go and enjoy the ride.

I need to stop going and start growing.

I need to accept the beautiful reality that our story isn't scripted. For some reason, I had been holding onto some strange idea of what our lives were supposed to look like, and while I don't know exactly what that picture entailed, I was having trouble shaking the feeling that where we were wasn't the path we were meant to take. Thus, I was outwardly and inwardly fighting what our lives look like up here...I was struggling.

But through the course of one very honest and enlightening conversation with my amazing husband, I came to not only accept but cherish the notion that the story of our marriage, our family, our professional and personal lives is unfolding every day. Either I can live and learn where we are or I can ignore the joys right in front of me and miss the whole story.

I want to live the story. I want to love our story.

This week has provided me with lots of moments that clarify and solidify that decision.

A man in a lobster suit was one of those moments.

Well, not really, but when I really opened my eyes to where we were and what we were doing, I once again realized that God knows exactly what we truly need.

This summer, I have been given days full of time with my fun husband and happy son.

We have been able to explore places in NH and Maine that I have never seen before.

We have a cabin that doesn't scream out "clean me!" every time I turn around, so lots of the daily chores I used to do are a distant memory. We go to the dining hall for almost all of our meals, so while I miss cooking (and I miss homemade granola and chocolate chip cookies the most!), I have so much more time to spend with my family. Camden is so happy running free around our little faculty neighborhood, and Will is thriving. We have eaten several lobster rolls (heaven on earth) since we've been here, our nights consist of games of Gin Rummy and Scrabble, and the runs around Wolfeboro and trails here have cleared my mind and improved my fitness. Life is pretty simple and natural for us now, and once I let myself embrace it, I have realized that I am beyond happy.

I don't know what my life story is going to be, but it would be pretty boring if it was already scripted...

...and I think if I could have written my life story up to this point, I couldn't have dreamed up the incredible gifts I have been given thus far.

So who am I kidding? Life is good here. Life is full.

And we are happy.

Man, it feels good to finally exhale.