Actually, I have been learning A LOT.
My first focus as a working mom has been on a daily schedule. One reason I love teaching is because every day is so darn regimented. Bells ring to signify a shift in focus, there is time built into each day for eating and exercising and planning and teaching, and I know that come 2:45 every day, I can be in the car, on my way home to Will.
In the past, my schedule has been pretty much designed around my interests and passions. If I wanted to go for a long run, I went. If I wanted to go out with girlfriends on a weeknight, no problem. I did everything when I wanted to do it.
Lesson #1: My time is no longer just my own.
Now my schedule revolves around Will's childcare, feedings, and sleep routines. Thankfully, I have a husband who understands and respects my needs and priorities--largely because they are his, too: quality time with Will, time with each other, exercise, grading time, reading, down time, gatherings with friends, healthy eating.
With these in mind, I have crafted a schedule for myself that tries to incorporate time for each of these priorities. Here's what my Monday-Friday work days look like:
3:15 a.m.: feed Will
5:30: alarm goes off, make bottle for Will, out the door by 5:50 (Clay takes Will to Carla's)
6:00: arrive at GPS
6:00-7:00/8:00: run around downtown Chattanooga, work out at GPS gym
7-7:30: shower and get dressed at GPS
7:45: at my desk, ready to go
7:45-11:18: teach three classes
11:18-12:45: grab a healthy salad for lunch, meetings/lunch in faculty lounge/grading time
12:45-2:45: teach 2 more classes
2:45: head home to pick up Will from Carla's by 3 p.m.
3-6: Will and Mommy time. Feeding, playing, reading, walking, and (if lucky) more grading
6:00: head to dining hall to meet Clay for dinner OR make dinner at home
6:45-8: try to get some more work done
8-9: Will's bedtime routine: bath, pajamas, feeding, reading, rocking, sleeping
9-10:30: more grading and/or prepping
10:30 (hopefully): off to bed
I know this post sounds awfully boring, but it feels good for me to write this down after trying to figure it out these past couple of weeks. I have probably annoyed my colleagues to no end because I have asked so many of them to explain their days to me. They usually say things like "I teach and then I exercise and then I make dinner..." and I am like, "No. Give me a minute by minute play by play so I know how in the heck you do it all." I have friends at school who have three kids and are training for marathons--oh yeah, and are excellent school people. Impressive.
I just can't get enough of learning about people's schedules. How people organize their days is fascinating to me.
Here's what I love about my schedule:
* running in the mornings (especially on the days I meet friends) is HEAVENLY.
* I love my job.
* 3:00 p.m. is like Christmas morning every single day. I am literally shaking on my drive home because I am so excited to hold Will.
Here's what I am still working on:
* Time with Clay has been seriously compromised. I am not okay with that on a long term basis.
* I basically eat another meal when I come home at 3. Is it because I am hungry--or bored?
* I am usually okay energy-wise throughout the week, but come Friday, I am dragging. I realize this will hopefully get better when Will starts sleeping through the night.
* I don't have a lot of free time for my students to come in and ask questions, conference with me, review their writing, etc. My time at school is pretty fixed and focused.
Then Friday night comes and everything slows down. LOVE the weekends. Clay watches Will on Saturday mornings so I can go for a long run (ran 9 miles today--longest I have run in a year. I seriously have so many endorphins that I think I will be deliriously happy for a week) and then we enjoy time as a family. Grocery shopping, walks with Camden, cooking good meals or going to fun restaurants...I don't care what we do as long as I am with my boys.
I am lucky to have to have a husband who supports me in every way--and is a loving, hands-on parents. I am lucky to have a fun, energizing, stimulating job. I am lucky to have a boss who tells me to go home at 2:45 to be with my son. I am lucky that I have a childcare provider who is loving and thoughtful with Will. I am lucky that Will is healthy. I am lucky that we have a dining hall to go to for dinner if we want to. And I am lucky to have family who are willing and eager to step in and help in whatever ways they can. Sure, it's been a transition, but I am lucky that it's been smooth.
And I will go ahead and say it: I am certain that I am a better mother and wife and person because I am teaching. And I think I am a better teacher now that I am a mother. I totally understand how that is not the case for many other women--I can easily see that. For me, though, this is working. It's not perfect, but it's working. And I am not sure I want to strive for perfection anyway :).
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