The two loves of my life.
So I am sitting here on the couch watching Eat Pray Love with Camden curled up next to me. I am arrested by the movie, both loving and disliking what it says about the joys and purpose in life, when I hear Will crying. It is 11:51: Will has been asleep for 4 hours, but as has become habit lately, there is a moment during the night when Will suddenly cries out and I find myself rushing to his side and placing my palms on his warm cheeks. Usually he is immediately soothed by his pacifier and turns his head to the side, but tonight he refused his binky and instead looked at me with his big, searching eyes and smiled. He reached out for my hand, slipped his soft fingers around mine, and held on tight. Maybe it was me who held on tight. And before I knew it, he was breathing steadily. He had fallen asleep. I stayed there for a moment longer, watching his chest rise and fall, and then I slipped back out of the nursery.
I find myself in these moments all the time lately. Moments when I want to pause life for a second, let the magnificence of the experience totally sink in, and then press play again only to be a little wiser and more full of wonder than I was before. Usually life sweeps me up before I can write about these moments, but I hope this year I can be more diligent about writing some of it down.
1 comment:
Sara- I hope you realize the amazing gift you are already giving to Will by writing your wonderful and heartfelt blog! All of the pictures are a joy to see, but your thoughts and insights- about your family, your work, human nature and of course, precious Will- are the real gems! I love the "pause" button idea- there have been many times in my life when I would love to hit "rewind" and either do something differently or experience something special again. And I guess during troubling times a "fast-forward" button might come in handy! But since we don't have access to these choices- we just have the "play" button- how nice to have everything documented in such a personal and thoughtful way. Thank you, Sara, for sharing your gifts with us!! Ellen
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